Elissa Nicol

Elissa was born at 24wks gestation and had to struggle from the day she was born. She was an amazing
little fighter and everytime a new problem was thrown at her she seemed to fight back with a smile.
Due to being born too soon she had cerebral palsy and cortical blindness. She also had numerous
problems with her bowel and stomach and ended up being tube fed.

Unfortunately she spent more of her short life in hospital than she did at home but she was never
short of attention and love. She didnt have one mummy she had lots of mummys because of all the
nurses becoming like family. Her older brother Jamie always made her smile and loved going to visit
her while she was in the hospital. When she was well enough Elissa did go to nursery and made lots
of friends. They all used to help her play with tactile toys and sit with her while she was getting
a story. Elissa may not have been able to speak but her smile used to say a thousand words.

In the few months before she died she started going to Robin House Hospice and she enjoyed every
minute she was there. The staff were amazing and got Jamie involved when Elissa went swimming or to
the farm park. Both kids got to spent time together without me having to worry about whether Elissa
would get ill or not.

On May 25th 2008 Elissa became unwell while she was at home for the day. Nothing out of the ordinary
for her but we took her back to the childrens ward to be checked over. They did what they would
normally do, give her pain releif and put her on a drip. I knew I was in for a night of it but
nothing prepared me for what was coming. At 9pm her monitor started beeping and I thought she was
asleep (she was all curled up lying on my chest, her fav position) the nurse came in and said she
wasnt breathing properly. We lay her down and she was only taking 2 breaths a minute. I knew then
there was something really wrong. The next thing I knew there was 5 docs and 2 nurses in the room.
They ordered bloods and xrays but I knew they were all thinking the same as me, she had no fight
left. These docs had became like family to us as Elissa had been on the ward so long and I could see
no-one wanted to have to say it but eventually the consultant on call sat me down and told me she
had given up. My little princess Elissa was dying. I broke down, made the phonecalls everyone dreads
and the next thing I knew all who mattered were by her side. It didnt look like she would make it
though the night but as usual Elissa did it her way. The following morning it was agreed she could
be transfered to the hospice. So the registrar came and took Elissas line out and we were ready for
transfer. One of the amazing comm nurses took us in the car, everyone thinking she wouldnt make the
journey but she made it to the hospice. We got her settled in to her room and I got a chance of a
hot shower, a nice dinner and knowing Elissa was being watched over by wonderful staff. That night I
stayed in her room with her. Then at 8am on 27th May I woke up just as my little princess Elissa had
taken her last breath. I cried and cried but I knew she was no longer suffering. The staff at the
hospice wee fantastic, they helped with her big brother. Kept him occupied by taking him out as we
began to organise things. She was moved to the Rainbow Room where the kids can stay until the day of
the funeral. It was lovely, decorated with pictures, her fav music playing, pink fairy lights round
the bed and a projector on the wall of a teddy bears picnic. That afternoon her consultant and comm
nurse came to the hospice to say goodbye. It was really hard but also nice, her consultant was
breaking her heart. I still cry thinking about how caring and loving she was towards Elissa.

On 3rd June 2008 Elissa was laid to rest. The service was perfect. Just fitting for my little angel.
She has a pink coffin decorated with Fifi and was bought in by her grandad and uncle Alexander while
the Marching Song from the Jungle Book was playing. The service was taken by the 2 ministers fom the
hospice so it was very personal. It was so hard saying those final goodbyes, knowing that I wouldnt
see her again.

My little angel is now free from pain. I miss her so much everyday.